Tuesday, May 30, 2006
EXACTO!!!
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever? I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife.
Two benches ignoring a tree.
I stole this picture and headline from Renee'. 
Maybe the only creative thing I'll ever do is blog. Blog creatively. Although Brinbrin and Matt seemed happy with my writing help on the adoption resume. That made me happy. Even if they don't use any of it, and they hate it all, at least they lied to me and said they liked it. So I'm good for something, at least.
We painted this weekend. I will eventually put up a couple pics of our objet d'art, but really, for now, just use your imagination. Mine, titled "Roadkill Birds," had three nice small poppies in the corner and some good grass. Amanda's is a lovely still life, with a blue vase and several varieties of flower. She got paint on her shorts, but it came out. At first, Renee' was frustrated, toiling and heaving over her work, sighing and stomping off, returning - "How's this?" "No, that's crap," the rest of us would say, gently encouraging her to keep trying. "Ok, this isn't bad," she'd say. And B would give her the ole "No, you should stop now and start over with a new canvas. Really. Don't touch it." And R would glare and pout, walk off, come back. But when she started over, it was brilliant. She even came back to the original crap painting and turned it into an awesome urban-ish flower. They both created some really cool pieces.
I feel obsessed with painting and being creative. Last week, or over the weekend (I don't remember -- time is becoming muddy these days), I was haunting the house trying to find my box of pastels. Couldn't find 'em. Wanted to go out and buy more at 11pm. Renee' was all, "Why am I living with a lunatic?" and I was all, "Do you want some bread? Maybe some toast. Where are my pastels? They aren't in this closet or in that box or in the freezer."
There is this insatiable need to do more. I did one painting to their 10. The paint makes me twitchy. The brushes make me wish I could use my fingers. People kept talking to me. I'd be in the middle of a brushstroke and Amanda would get paint on her eyeball. Or I'd be contemplating the fabulous combination of brown on brown, and the girls would be all, "Andi, your painting is a pit of despair. What do you think of mine?"
The kicker is, I'm ok with sucking (for now) because I just want to keep doing it. One day, my paints will come.
Maybe the only creative thing I'll ever do is blog. Blog creatively. Although Brinbrin and Matt seemed happy with my writing help on the adoption resume. That made me happy. Even if they don't use any of it, and they hate it all, at least they lied to me and said they liked it. So I'm good for something, at least.
We painted this weekend. I will eventually put up a couple pics of our objet d'art, but really, for now, just use your imagination. Mine, titled "Roadkill Birds," had three nice small poppies in the corner and some good grass. Amanda's is a lovely still life, with a blue vase and several varieties of flower. She got paint on her shorts, but it came out. At first, Renee' was frustrated, toiling and heaving over her work, sighing and stomping off, returning - "How's this?" "No, that's crap," the rest of us would say, gently encouraging her to keep trying. "Ok, this isn't bad," she'd say. And B would give her the ole "No, you should stop now and start over with a new canvas. Really. Don't touch it." And R would glare and pout, walk off, come back. But when she started over, it was brilliant. She even came back to the original crap painting and turned it into an awesome urban-ish flower. They both created some really cool pieces.
I feel obsessed with painting and being creative. Last week, or over the weekend (I don't remember -- time is becoming muddy these days), I was haunting the house trying to find my box of pastels. Couldn't find 'em. Wanted to go out and buy more at 11pm. Renee' was all, "Why am I living with a lunatic?" and I was all, "Do you want some bread? Maybe some toast. Where are my pastels? They aren't in this closet or in that box or in the freezer."
There is this insatiable need to do more. I did one painting to their 10. The paint makes me twitchy. The brushes make me wish I could use my fingers. People kept talking to me. I'd be in the middle of a brushstroke and Amanda would get paint on her eyeball. Or I'd be contemplating the fabulous combination of brown on brown, and the girls would be all, "Andi, your painting is a pit of despair. What do you think of mine?"
The kicker is, I'm ok with sucking (for now) because I just want to keep doing it. One day, my paints will come.
Monday, May 29, 2006
HOLIDAY!!! but wait...all things below are boring..
Ok so we had a much needed holiday weekend. It is funny to me when we are exhausted at the end of it though. As we were just walking up the stairs Andi said "will you please bring the aparment down." She is such a funny gal, that Andi!
Ok so life is busy pretty much all of the time. However, this weekend was slow moving and gentle on the soul. Friday seems so long ago. We went out to dinner at Bravo! It was wonderful in every way. Oh wait...was that Sat? I forget. Anyways at some point we went out to Bravo and it was Bravo.
Saturday we went to Brenda's and spent the day working on the adoption album and doing a little painting. We also watched a movie and grilled. It was general laziness and good times.
I believe we were productive on the album but we will see what Brenda ends up posting. I am so grateful that we got to be a part of this important process once again.
Sunday Andi and I mostly just did a whole bunch of nothing. We lost such track of time that we were guessing it to be between and 11am and 2pm and it was actually 2:30 pm. What a lovely day it was. We picked up Amanda at 8pm came home watched yet another movie and that was that.
Today we got up at 10am, which was lovely. We had breakfast and headed to Barndoors for yet another day full of painting and grilling with swimming thrown in the mix. It was a lovely time.
I did manage to put out two grill fires and the house did not burn down.
It was a blast being in the pool with the family. Now we are home and starting to slip back into reality. Well, at least the grown ups are slowly fighting reality. Amanda however is just about to embark on a journey.
I love our life. I am anxious for vacation. I will be meeting Andi's family and I am excited to put faces with the names.
Ok so life is busy pretty much all of the time. However, this weekend was slow moving and gentle on the soul. Friday seems so long ago. We went out to dinner at Bravo! It was wonderful in every way. Oh wait...was that Sat? I forget. Anyways at some point we went out to Bravo and it was Bravo.
Saturday we went to Brenda's and spent the day working on the adoption album and doing a little painting. We also watched a movie and grilled. It was general laziness and good times.
I believe we were productive on the album but we will see what Brenda ends up posting. I am so grateful that we got to be a part of this important process once again.
Sunday Andi and I mostly just did a whole bunch of nothing. We lost such track of time that we were guessing it to be between and 11am and 2pm and it was actually 2:30 pm. What a lovely day it was. We picked up Amanda at 8pm came home watched yet another movie and that was that.
Today we got up at 10am, which was lovely. We had breakfast and headed to Barndoors for yet another day full of painting and grilling with swimming thrown in the mix. It was a lovely time.
I did manage to put out two grill fires and the house did not burn down.
It was a blast being in the pool with the family. Now we are home and starting to slip back into reality. Well, at least the grown ups are slowly fighting reality. Amanda however is just about to embark on a journey.
I love our life. I am anxious for vacation. I will be meeting Andi's family and I am excited to put faces with the names.
Friday, May 19, 2006
SACAGAWEA!
So, my daughter is a Shoshone Indian. At least, for a day. A few minutes anyway. She was part of a classroom "wax museum" - a display of characters that speak when asked to give information about their history. Kind of cool, wish I could have gone to see it, but today we had a new business pitch that needed conversion from InDesign to Word and it took all morning with two editors working on it. So yeah. I volleyed with her father about going, and he went, took pics, and sent them on to me. Her first words when I said he was trying to go, "Oh man, he's always criticizing me." But maybe he holds her to a higher standard and in general, lazy people hate that.
Please note how I slaved away on the accessories for this costume. I made a "fur shawl," a headband, and a baby wrap out of the finest WalMart cloth. But I think she put it on crooked and it just doesn't look right in this picture. No matter how often I tried to get her to take some care when she put it on for rehearsal, she just didn't give a crap. Sigh. You know how they say a mother's work is never done? It's also "dust in the wind." People don't notice when you do it right, and they sure do when you get it wrong. Ah well, keep on keepin' on. She'll be 18 one day and then I'll be begging to sew costumes and do scrapbooks and paint boxes and watch movies and play board games and go for walks. Life is comfortable but it still isn't FAIR.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Language in another language
This is an instruction manual of an MP3 player written in English by non-native English speakers. Here is an excerpt:
Preface:
For you using the unit correctly. Please read the attached manual carefully before you using the unit. We will not inform individually if the information in the manual was changed.
Attention:
1. Please take out the battery from the unit for prevent the unit damaged if you don't use it long time.
2. Don't use the unit in very hot and cool and dank environment.
3. Please make sure the "lock" button on unlock position.
4. Don't collide the unit with hard object. Otherwise it maybe wear the surface or fall off the battery or damage the hardware of the unit.
5. Please change the battery under the following condition.
a) The symbol of the battery volume was blank and flashing.
b) The system was power off automatically. And power off again soon after power on.
c) All buttons no function and they are still no function after take out and replace the battery.
6. Avoid to using the unit in very dry condition for prevent static electricity.
7. Don't disconnect during the unit is in formatting and uploading and downloading. Otherwise it may make wrong the program.
8. When using the unit for moveable storage. Please export document correctly per the document management method.
It is enter stop interface no matter enter music interface from any interface. The current directory should be resume to the directory when left if the current song need to resume to the song when left MUSIC. It will turn to the first file of the directory if the resume song was avoided.
I would like to mention that I found almost no misspellings. And even though on first read it doesn't seem to make sense, I bet if you had the MP3 in front of you and needed to perform a step, you could figure it out. Me love you long time.
Preface:
For you using the unit correctly. Please read the attached manual carefully before you using the unit. We will not inform individually if the information in the manual was changed.
Attention:
1. Please take out the battery from the unit for prevent the unit damaged if you don't use it long time.
2. Don't use the unit in very hot and cool and dank environment.
3. Please make sure the "lock" button on unlock position.
4. Don't collide the unit with hard object. Otherwise it maybe wear the surface or fall off the battery or damage the hardware of the unit.
5. Please change the battery under the following condition.
a) The symbol of the battery volume was blank and flashing.
b) The system was power off automatically. And power off again soon after power on.
c) All buttons no function and they are still no function after take out and replace the battery.
6. Avoid to using the unit in very dry condition for prevent static electricity.
7. Don't disconnect during the unit is in formatting and uploading and downloading. Otherwise it may make wrong the program.
8. When using the unit for moveable storage. Please export document correctly per the document management method.
It is enter stop interface no matter enter music interface from any interface. The current directory should be resume to the directory when left if the current song need to resume to the song when left MUSIC. It will turn to the first file of the directory if the resume song was avoided.
I would like to mention that I found almost no misspellings. And even though on first read it doesn't seem to make sense, I bet if you had the MP3 in front of you and needed to perform a step, you could figure it out. Me love you long time.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
What Scrapple Means to Me.
Scrapple is a food I ate often while growing up. It's a northeastern thing, and nowhere here in Texas have I located any Scrapple. Scrapple's finest brand is represented by Rapa, a Delaware-based company who only makes Scrapple.
Do you need to know what it is? Well, it's a breakfast meat. What kind of breakfast meat, you ask? Take a pig. Take a blender. Add some cornmeal. Form into blocks. Slice and fry in the pan and eat with scrambled eggs and toast. You don't look too closely into your Scrapple. Any oddly textured bits get swallowed with the rest, and you just don't think too hard about your breakfast. Because the taste is amazing - surpasses bacon, sausage, kippers, and Spam in all ways. (Spam is maybe not a great example, tho Amanda loves how Renee' cooks Spam.)
My sister can tell you a great story about families and Scrapple. When I was around 2 or 3 years old in our hometown of Delaware, I was laying spread eagle on the floor. So she asked, "Hey you, what are you doing?" To which I replied delightedly, "I'm a piece of Scrapple!!" Isn't that adorable? See how influential this stuff is? Children and barns alike were raised on this stuff, the building blocks of nutritional mystery.
Some people eat it with syrup, but I'm not a fan. These are the syrup-on-my-sausage types, and I'm not akin to this. I like mine cut thin and fried DARK - my brother likes it that way too, I think. My whole family has cravings of it, so that a select few of us began making our own, which is pretty darn good. By us, I mean, not me, per se. Now that only my one brother and one family friend remain in the northeast, what choice did we have? My other brother in Austin and myself have to wait to either get care packages of Scrapple or travel to Florida, where my sisters and mom make it themselves, or they wait for care packages of Scrapple. It's a desperate situation really, and I've discovered Rapa ships! but only through February because of the temperatures. Understandable, since Scrapple gone bad is absolutely not to be trifled with.
It's an old recipe: Rapa does it best, my sisters do it well, and every other version I've tried just doesn't cut it. So I'm hoping you all get a chance to try some. Gather your best folks around you so you can stay distracted while you eat your Scrapple.
Do you need to know what it is? Well, it's a breakfast meat. What kind of breakfast meat, you ask? Take a pig. Take a blender. Add some cornmeal. Form into blocks. Slice and fry in the pan and eat with scrambled eggs and toast. You don't look too closely into your Scrapple. Any oddly textured bits get swallowed with the rest, and you just don't think too hard about your breakfast. Because the taste is amazing - surpasses bacon, sausage, kippers, and Spam in all ways. (Spam is maybe not a great example, tho Amanda loves how Renee' cooks Spam.)
My sister can tell you a great story about families and Scrapple. When I was around 2 or 3 years old in our hometown of Delaware, I was laying spread eagle on the floor. So she asked, "Hey you, what are you doing?" To which I replied delightedly, "I'm a piece of Scrapple!!" Isn't that adorable? See how influential this stuff is? Children and barns alike were raised on this stuff, the building blocks of nutritional mystery.
Some people eat it with syrup, but I'm not a fan. These are the syrup-on-my-sausage types, and I'm not akin to this. I like mine cut thin and fried DARK - my brother likes it that way too, I think. My whole family has cravings of it, so that a select few of us began making our own, which is pretty darn good. By us, I mean, not me, per se. Now that only my one brother and one family friend remain in the northeast, what choice did we have? My other brother in Austin and myself have to wait to either get care packages of Scrapple or travel to Florida, where my sisters and mom make it themselves, or they wait for care packages of Scrapple. It's a desperate situation really, and I've discovered Rapa ships! but only through February because of the temperatures. Understandable, since Scrapple gone bad is absolutely not to be trifled with.
It's an old recipe: Rapa does it best, my sisters do it well, and every other version I've tried just doesn't cut it. So I'm hoping you all get a chance to try some. Gather your best folks around you so you can stay distracted while you eat your Scrapple.
Monday, May 08, 2006
B is for Birthday, Beef and Brooligig
This is one of my birthday presents. For those in my life who I love dearly, I so wish you could be there to experience these priceless objet d'art. This - is apology steak. Named so for its aroma of Matt's sincere regret for his wrongdoings, his slips of the tongue, his faux pas. Any mistake or misstep made in our direction, and his payback is a steak dinner. He may have been sorry for the fact that he is singlehandedly responsible for global warming, and if I have to turn the A/C up in the apt, we nail him. I mean, he offers up dinner for our whole family, cooked by him. Repast on Sunday was no exception.I don't have photos of the lovely wheat-free bread/crushed nut horse derbies, or whatever he called them. We did bring salad, and Brenda always makes potatoes. (She has to contribute somehow; I mean, we can barely tolerate her presence as it is - there has to be peace offering.)
We brought the salad so we didn't come across entirely as the freeloaders that we are. (Kudos to Bingdon's herb dressing, btw. She should post it here.)
Anyway, after the game of modified pinochle, we had ice cream and Brenda's famous cherry-chocolate cake. I think it's the best she's made EVAR. No photos of that either, but it's for the best. You'd have been licking your screen by now if I'd posted them.
No one got any pictures of all of us together, and I blame Matt for that...
A birthday poem from Amanda to me.
Birthday PoemCandy, cake, and ice cream too
Mommy did you know I love you?
Come on, let's go, it's time you know,
To blow out the candles so blow Mommy blow!!!
It's a surprise,
So I'll tell her lies.
She looked surprised
When I saw her eyes.
The camera is flashing,
Renee is laughing.
I gave you a present, It looks like a crescent.
Logan is running,
He looks very stunning.
Logan went to grab a potato,
Hallie instantly had to say no.
Shannon is talking about Germany,
It's starting to annoy me.
It's your thirty-fifth birthday,
So everybody say Hip-Hip Hooray.
Now it's time for me to say
I hope you had a good day!!
Love,
Amanda Reis
I ask you: does it get any better than that?
Mucho amor, mi pequenita.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Much ado about chickens
No, that's not Renee' in a chicken suit, but it's probably as close as it's going to get. You see, tomorrow is my birthday. I'm turning that ripe old age of 35. I didn't think it was possible, either. All that hard-living, fast times and reckless abandon. Wowie. Whoda thunk.
So, in homage and respect to my aging carapace, I was delivered the most gorgeous bunch of flowers, a box of candy, 6 balloons and a serenade "You Are My Sunshine" by...this chicken. She even cracked a couple jokes. "I'll do any job, just no chicken strips, please" and "I'm a girl chicken - can't you see the chicken breasts?"
The 5' furry fowl also brought the entire office over to my cube to experience the scene. And after a videotaping mishap (thankfully, the battery died) someone did snap a couple digi photos, and she said she'd email them to me over the weekend. I'll share them with you later.
What a great start to a great birthday. I've gotten cards from co-workers, two of them even bought me lunch (thanks, D, R and M). So it's been a fun week, and the weekend purports to be grand as well.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Just because I love each and every person reading this blog I wanted to make a public service announcement.
As most would know if you scream in the shower it is never a good thing.
Ok so I was in the shower innocently doing what people do...bathing and all...but then I decided to use soap. My mother always said make sure you use soap but ladies and gentlemen I am here to tell you that mothers are not ALWAYS right. If only I would not have listened to her but I am a good daughter and always do what my mothers says. Yeah well it sounds good anyways.
So as I was saying....I picked up the container of body wash...evil body wash...popped open the lid and splat directly into my eye flew a quarter size of this purple goo. I did what any normal person would do and screamed my eyes out. At that point I began to rapidly squeeze the bottle and release. This did nothing for me and so I gently put the bottle down to collect my thoughts. At this time I stepped back from the situation just to get a grip and make sure it actually did indeed hurt as much as I thought it did and upon such conformation I immediately began to scream again.
Andi came rushing in thinking I was surely dead or nearly dead or at the least mostly dead. After looking at my eye she suggested that I run water over it. I always knew she was the smart one. It did but it did not help. Here I am late at night and my eye still hurts A LOT.
As most would know if you scream in the shower it is never a good thing.
Ok so I was in the shower innocently doing what people do...bathing and all...but then I decided to use soap. My mother always said make sure you use soap but ladies and gentlemen I am here to tell you that mothers are not ALWAYS right. If only I would not have listened to her but I am a good daughter and always do what my mothers says. Yeah well it sounds good anyways.
So as I was saying....I picked up the container of body wash...evil body wash...popped open the lid and splat directly into my eye flew a quarter size of this purple goo. I did what any normal person would do and screamed my eyes out. At that point I began to rapidly squeeze the bottle and release. This did nothing for me and so I gently put the bottle down to collect my thoughts. At this time I stepped back from the situation just to get a grip and make sure it actually did indeed hurt as much as I thought it did and upon such conformation I immediately began to scream again.
Andi came rushing in thinking I was surely dead or nearly dead or at the least mostly dead. After looking at my eye she suggested that I run water over it. I always knew she was the smart one. It did but it did not help. Here I am late at night and my eye still hurts A LOT.
chicken dance
the chicken dance is a dangerous thing. honestly but then again i can make anything dangerous.
it is true.
it was a wonderful weekend of bill paying and art. I was in a very happy place on Sunday. After putting up as much of a fight as I could we went to church. People who know me will as always scratch their head as to why I would put up a fight to go to church considering how much I love being there. What can I say? I am a freak. However, I love church and it was a great sermon.
The preacher talked about Thomas and FAITH.
FAITH.......it is like a lightbulb.
Then after church we went to eat Mexican with B....
Did I mention Happy Place? YEP
Then as if the day was not awesome enough we went to the art fair. Sure it was hot. Sure it was crowded. Sure we drove in circles in a bank parking lot more than we needed to. It was fun though. FUN FUN FUN.
The goal for the day was to look at art and then see BRAVE COMBO. They are an awesome NUCLEAR PUNK band. So we managed to pull it off.
Ladies and if there are any men reading this WE DID THE CHICKEN DANCE. I did bonk knees with some stranger and it REALLY hurt but it was a lot of fun. I loved being out there in the hot Texas sun baking like a chicken with my family.
Andi,
Thank you for being such a trooper. I adore you.
Renee'
it is true.
it was a wonderful weekend of bill paying and art. I was in a very happy place on Sunday. After putting up as much of a fight as I could we went to church. People who know me will as always scratch their head as to why I would put up a fight to go to church considering how much I love being there. What can I say? I am a freak. However, I love church and it was a great sermon.
The preacher talked about Thomas and FAITH.
FAITH.......it is like a lightbulb.
Then after church we went to eat Mexican with B....
Did I mention Happy Place? YEP
Then as if the day was not awesome enough we went to the art fair. Sure it was hot. Sure it was crowded. Sure we drove in circles in a bank parking lot more than we needed to. It was fun though. FUN FUN FUN.
The goal for the day was to look at art and then see BRAVE COMBO. They are an awesome NUCLEAR PUNK band. So we managed to pull it off.
Ladies and if there are any men reading this WE DID THE CHICKEN DANCE. I did bonk knees with some stranger and it REALLY hurt but it was a lot of fun. I loved being out there in the hot Texas sun baking like a chicken with my family.
Andi,
Thank you for being such a trooper. I adore you.
Renee'
if only i knew what i was going to say
if i knew what i was going to write i would title this blog but of course i do not. i would like to write something that would sound brillant and astonish people but i am too tired.
i do know that if you bring home tulips suddenly it is a good thing.
this morning I actually talked to my mom. Bless us Lord because we are busy. It is difficult for the two of us to reach each other. it is not for a lack of trying. Regardless today we caught up. She got to see her friend that she has not seen in a long time. It was a nice conversation.
Also I had lunch with my dad. He was driving thru and stopped in for lunch. I also got to give him a shop tour. It was cool to get to show him the press brake. It is a true MONSTER. I do not know the tonage though. I need to find out b/c he wanted to know.
We did not have the house cleaner this week and it seemed to make me a real bear. I would like to take this time to say ANDI I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT and I love you.
i do know that if you bring home tulips suddenly it is a good thing.
this morning I actually talked to my mom. Bless us Lord because we are busy. It is difficult for the two of us to reach each other. it is not for a lack of trying. Regardless today we caught up. She got to see her friend that she has not seen in a long time. It was a nice conversation.
Also I had lunch with my dad. He was driving thru and stopped in for lunch. I also got to give him a shop tour. It was cool to get to show him the press brake. It is a true MONSTER. I do not know the tonage though. I need to find out b/c he wanted to know.
We did not have the house cleaner this week and it seemed to make me a real bear. I would like to take this time to say ANDI I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT and I love you.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Painting Renee’s toenails is mostly a venture in futility. All her toes crisscross each other, so unless we leave them in the egg-carton/toe separator thingy for 30 minutes, they immediately obliterate the orange surface of one another. The resulting gummy wound makes it look as though Emma had the brush in her little paws to do the job.
We’re at the pool now. It’s about 85 outside. But the day after some dinner, dancing and a drag show, nursing bad knees all around and feeling overly warm, overly cranky and substantially hungover, we’re just kind of sitting here. I brought a book – and have passed it to her because she couldn’t think of anything to write. We dipped our toes in, and remarkably, no one drowned.
I think we have committed to the fact that she is high-maintenance. I am moody and obstinate. There is a difference.
There’s a guy here with like, four kids. All some hue of redhead. There’s also a large gaggle of 20-somethings across the pool campus. You can practically feel the swagger. Most of them are unattractive, even in their bikinis. My woman is wearing the largest sunglasses I’ve ever seen. Well, that someone would wear for real, and not for a costume in a Las Vegas comedy act. And a blue ball cap and orange shorts. And I find her to be the most stunning creature …ever. Just so you know, her orange toes match her shorts. We speculate about the hot tub potential of this establishment. She watched a family head that way, but we’re both too lazy to go see for ourselves. It’s probably too hot for a dip in a hot tub right now anyway. Without being wet, this little adventure is much like suffering.
Church this morning was a lot like camp. We got up early, got all our stuff together, then changed our mind after seeing the bear. I was panicky because of the drive into downtown FW and then she got panicky because our seats were the last, and I mean the highest, lastest, farthest awayest seats in the entire place. By the time we climbed the stairs to find the seats we were uncomfortable, achy and frazzled, so when she took one look down – straight down – to see part of the ant show on stage, it was all over. So we gathered our respective phobias and found the location of the Agape church. It was too late to attend, but at least we knew where it was and how to get there. And approximately how long it takes to drive out in the middle of BFE. We need to make sure we leave a solid 45 minutes before church begins next week so we make it on time. She’s bad with directions, I’m bad with directions and time, amanda’s bad with church all around. This should be fun.
We’re at the pool now. It’s about 85 outside. But the day after some dinner, dancing and a drag show, nursing bad knees all around and feeling overly warm, overly cranky and substantially hungover, we’re just kind of sitting here. I brought a book – and have passed it to her because she couldn’t think of anything to write. We dipped our toes in, and remarkably, no one drowned.
I think we have committed to the fact that she is high-maintenance. I am moody and obstinate. There is a difference.
There’s a guy here with like, four kids. All some hue of redhead. There’s also a large gaggle of 20-somethings across the pool campus. You can practically feel the swagger. Most of them are unattractive, even in their bikinis. My woman is wearing the largest sunglasses I’ve ever seen. Well, that someone would wear for real, and not for a costume in a Las Vegas comedy act. And a blue ball cap and orange shorts. And I find her to be the most stunning creature …ever. Just so you know, her orange toes match her shorts. We speculate about the hot tub potential of this establishment. She watched a family head that way, but we’re both too lazy to go see for ourselves. It’s probably too hot for a dip in a hot tub right now anyway. Without being wet, this little adventure is much like suffering.
Church this morning was a lot like camp. We got up early, got all our stuff together, then changed our mind after seeing the bear. I was panicky because of the drive into downtown FW and then she got panicky because our seats were the last, and I mean the highest, lastest, farthest awayest seats in the entire place. By the time we climbed the stairs to find the seats we were uncomfortable, achy and frazzled, so when she took one look down – straight down – to see part of the ant show on stage, it was all over. So we gathered our respective phobias and found the location of the Agape church. It was too late to attend, but at least we knew where it was and how to get there. And approximately how long it takes to drive out in the middle of BFE. We need to make sure we leave a solid 45 minutes before church begins next week so we make it on time. She’s bad with directions, I’m bad with directions and time, amanda’s bad with church all around. This should be fun.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I HATE PEANUTS
Hi my Name is Renee' and I am here to say I hate peanuts. I do. It is true but to my defense they are gross. There are two exceptions to this rule:
#1
When I am at the Rangers game I like to suck the red skin off of them and then spit out the nut.
#2
I LOVE PayDay candy bars. I do not believe those are REAL peanuts though. That darn bar is just plain yummy.
#1
When I am at the Rangers game I like to suck the red skin off of them and then spit out the nut.
#2
I LOVE PayDay candy bars. I do not believe those are REAL peanuts though. That darn bar is just plain yummy.
Nooo Not a speed bump
Today I was walking the dog when the family pulled up. Of course at this point as any sane person would do I opened Amanda's door and the dog and I both jumped in her lap. We could not shut the door for Andi to park. The door would not shut b/c my hiney was sticking out, oh and I was holding on to the steering weel so Andi could not park. She rushed over the speed bump ahead of us like a mad woman.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Man in Park......written by TADE
Everyday at 5:25 Bob breathes a sigh of relief. He knows that the day is almost over and his therapy will soon begin. Bob shuts off his computer and walks down the hall way takes a left and passes Sally’s desk as he does every day @ 5:30. Sally smiles as kindly as she always does. Before last fall he would have stopped by to chat with her for a while but he now knows better. He has something more to do with his time. He smiles back at her and tells her to have a good evening. He continues on his journey to wash out his mug. This journey generally takes him 5 minutes when at one point in his life it took another 25. He washes out his mug with hot water, no soap except on Friday, and then excessively dries it before sitting in the cabinet. He walks back to his desk grinning to himself the whole way. He puts the needed papers in his bag, picks it up and heads out the door.
Sunshine immediately hits his face and he can not contain his joy and laughs out loud. He strolls to his car unlocks the passenger door and places his bag in the seat. He walks around the rear of his car and glances at his scraped bumper which always makes him giggle. He plops in the driver seat turns off the radio and takes off towards his slice of Heaven.
As Bob pulls up to the park he notices the trees are starting to bloom. The world around him is full of beauty and he intends to appreciate it all. He finds his perfect spot with its’ lush green grass and plops down flat on his back. He folds his fingers under his head and he closes his eyes briefly to reflect upon his day and his past. He opens his eyes and enjoys the stars that the bright sun creates in front of him. Occasionally as his young daughter would once do he reaches out to try and grab them before they fade and the clear sky above becomes clearer.
Bob often relives the events of his past and appreciates his future. He reminds himself that the stress he felt that day is to stay at his job. He knows what a wonderful life he has and so he lets it all goes. He relaxes each muscle starting with his toes and works his way up to his fingers until every muscle in his body is fully relaxed. It is about that point every day that his lovely bride lays down beside him to do just the same. They do not speak but their elbows touch which often makes her giggle. She relaxes fully just as he had.
It is at that point that they discuss nothing about their day other than how wonderful the leftovers were and what they want to eat for dinner that night. They turn on their sides towards one another and smile. She reminds him it is her night to pick and so she informs him that she had thought about it all day. They were going to that German restaurant that she loved so and he was going to dance with the old man whether he wanted to or not. He smiled and attempted a half hearted fuss about it as he leaned on one elbow but in his heart he knew he would follow her anyway and therefore he was happy. It is true that he hated to dance with the old man but if he were to be true about himself he really just enjoyed the idea of making her think he hated it.
They both turn back over to lie on their backs and silently reflect upon their week and it flashes thru his mind that he did not send that last fax but he fights the thought and remembers a derby car race when he was 12 instead.
Sunshine immediately hits his face and he can not contain his joy and laughs out loud. He strolls to his car unlocks the passenger door and places his bag in the seat. He walks around the rear of his car and glances at his scraped bumper which always makes him giggle. He plops in the driver seat turns off the radio and takes off towards his slice of Heaven.
As Bob pulls up to the park he notices the trees are starting to bloom. The world around him is full of beauty and he intends to appreciate it all. He finds his perfect spot with its’ lush green grass and plops down flat on his back. He folds his fingers under his head and he closes his eyes briefly to reflect upon his day and his past. He opens his eyes and enjoys the stars that the bright sun creates in front of him. Occasionally as his young daughter would once do he reaches out to try and grab them before they fade and the clear sky above becomes clearer.
Bob often relives the events of his past and appreciates his future. He reminds himself that the stress he felt that day is to stay at his job. He knows what a wonderful life he has and so he lets it all goes. He relaxes each muscle starting with his toes and works his way up to his fingers until every muscle in his body is fully relaxed. It is about that point every day that his lovely bride lays down beside him to do just the same. They do not speak but their elbows touch which often makes her giggle. She relaxes fully just as he had.
It is at that point that they discuss nothing about their day other than how wonderful the leftovers were and what they want to eat for dinner that night. They turn on their sides towards one another and smile. She reminds him it is her night to pick and so she informs him that she had thought about it all day. They were going to that German restaurant that she loved so and he was going to dance with the old man whether he wanted to or not. He smiled and attempted a half hearted fuss about it as he leaned on one elbow but in his heart he knew he would follow her anyway and therefore he was happy. It is true that he hated to dance with the old man but if he were to be true about himself he really just enjoyed the idea of making her think he hated it.
They both turn back over to lie on their backs and silently reflect upon their week and it flashes thru his mind that he did not send that last fax but he fights the thought and remembers a derby car race when he was 12 instead.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
A great quote
I've never had anyone's approval, so I've learned to live without it.
The Great Santini
Pat Conroy
The Great Santini
Pat Conroy
The Sun Also Riseth...eth.
Driving to work, I passed a truck this morning that was carrying crane parts. This must have had 20 giant wheels in order to bear up under the weight of this crane arm I saw on the bed. I was wowed. Heavy machinery is cool.
I've started stretching in the mornings. This morning I ran out of time because the Bank of America website is a heinously designed trap that makes it impossible to do something as simple as make a payment. No, really. Why would I go to Customer Service when the Pay A Bill, Credit Card Payment, Credit Card Access, e-Bill, etc etc etc options SHOULD PROBABLY cover such a desire? Well, no. You need to click on the Customer Service tab. This discovery only came after 40 minutes of searching - I was on a mission! But I digress. Where was I? Oh, yeah...There I am, trying to do stomach crunches and stretch and other bending-at-the-waist type items, but my joints sounded like Rice Krispies(r). It was amusing at first, but then I wondered if some body part would be left on the floor after I got up.
Ah, routine. Renee' and I do a little dance every morning. One day, we will hit the road with our act, a finely tuned routine of scraping past one another, and bouncing off edges of furniture, bumping butts, bonking heads, and pocking the whole thing with "Sorry" "Oops" "Can I get in there?" and "Oh, here, you dropped this." We will be famous. People will come from all around to witness the sight of two women who cohabit the same household.
This morning, however, each of us needed to be in the exact same place at the exact same time. To wit:
Our bathroom is broken up into sections, to reduce the chances of bodily injury. The hair station is the hair dryer, mousse, spray, brush, et. al. The sink is where she puts on her makeup, where tooth care happens, and I put on lotion. The right side is for deodorant, jewelry and watch. The the walk-in closet is off our bathroom, and it's long, not square. (only one exit)
This morning she was doing her hair, as I was going to do hair, so I decided to put on lotion. Then I'm putting on deodorant as she is trying to get by me, which she seems to need to do a dozen times in that short span of time. I think I followed her into the closet, but without real direction, so I was in her way almost immediately, running my hands over blouses I had no intention of wearing.
(Did I happen to mention our apt. is less than a 1000 sq ft? Yeah.)
Then I was putting on pants as she was needing around me to get her whatchamacallit thingy. She was blocking the bathroom door trying to remember something, (in this house, we don't actually pause in the routine or we'll be late. Ask Amanda sometime about how I go ballistic if I see her sitting on the couch without multi-tasking something else) and I wanted to get by to finish my hair. I said, "You're in my way this morning." She said, "No, you're really in MY way."
Each in a state of semi-dress, though I think she's a little farther along than I am since she leaves sooner than Amanda and I do, we continue our Dance, finally having moved away from the bathroom. But then...
I trudge out to the kitchen (by out, I mean 7.5 ft away) to gather the pasta salad I made for her work potluck, and I was turning to get the black spoon from the dishwasher - and she was standing there. Right there. Blocking the dishwasher door because she was fixing a cup of coffee to go. The coffee maker is above the dishwasher. But I swear, she was back in the bedroom the moment before. She's like that angel in "The Very Old Man with Enormous Wings" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. He popped up in all parts of the house randomly. I was convinced she had magical powers of POOF!
As she made her way out the door with salad, coffee, bag and phones, she's frazzled with a headache and not feeling well in general, we kiss goodbye and the door shuts behind her. 30 seconds later she's back in because she forgot her keys. Understandable, considering she had everything else. I believe working parents need a growth hormone for a second set of arms, be twice as strong, have perfect vision and hearing, and the patience of nuns.
Amanda, meanwhile, cruises around her side of the apartment in her own bathroom and bedroom, and comes out clean and ready every morning. If she happens to momentarily pause in the short hallway where the laundry is, her person is promptly run down by the individual(s) hustling back and forth.
That is, unless she needs OUR brush, a shirt out of OUR closet, a pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, lotion...
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Home Alone WHEN? - by Renee'
Imagine it is yesterday for a moment and if you read this some other day than today then just imagine it was that Tuesday that I am talking about.
Ok so I went into work with two goals: #1 survive the production meeting.....#2 leave at 5.
I am wounded but I did indeed survive the production meeting. However, death might have been easier to swallow. Regardless at 6 minutes til 5 or as some people say 4:56 I closed up shop and walked out the door. Yes, I actually did it. I was quite proud of myself.
It is interesting to me that when Andi and I first had the conversation about making sure we spent more time with Amanda that I thought she would be the one to struggle with actually pulling it off. Of course I should have known better considering how the last 6 months has gone at my job. Of course I am the one who can not seem to pull it off. As a result I went back to work yesterday (Monday just in case you are not keeping up or it is Thursday when you read this) and made it clear that no matter what I would be leaving work at 5.
So here I go off to pick up the kid and I listen to some riveting talk radio along the way to only realize there was no kid to pick up. Yes, Amanda does exist but she just was not where she was suppose to be. Her grandmother had made other plans for evening and neither of us knew about that little fact. As a result I went home alone.
I was disappointed but I made the best of it. I immediately came home and sat on my booty. No actually I came home and immediately took the dog for a walk. It was a nice little walk around the poo poo spot. I used a bag like a good little renter should and all was well. Well there were a few isolated incidents of stranger danger but good ol' Emma scared them away.
Then I came home and did something I do not believe I have done in about 5 years or actually 5 months, I cooked dinner. It is shocking I know but it is also true. Of course I cleaned the kitchen first. I made ham, potatoes, and baked beans. I cleaned the kitchen up after my cooking adventure. I tried to talk to B on the phone but I ended up dumping all of the ham juices all over the counter and floor and had to go clean that up.
It is a rare thing to be home alone. It is a bit of a lost feeling at the beginning but I quickly found my groove cooking, cleaning and of course listening to the IPOD.
Did I mention the dog is pyscho?
Ok so I went into work with two goals: #1 survive the production meeting.....#2 leave at 5.
I am wounded but I did indeed survive the production meeting. However, death might have been easier to swallow. Regardless at 6 minutes til 5 or as some people say 4:56 I closed up shop and walked out the door. Yes, I actually did it. I was quite proud of myself.
It is interesting to me that when Andi and I first had the conversation about making sure we spent more time with Amanda that I thought she would be the one to struggle with actually pulling it off. Of course I should have known better considering how the last 6 months has gone at my job. Of course I am the one who can not seem to pull it off. As a result I went back to work yesterday (Monday just in case you are not keeping up or it is Thursday when you read this) and made it clear that no matter what I would be leaving work at 5.
So here I go off to pick up the kid and I listen to some riveting talk radio along the way to only realize there was no kid to pick up. Yes, Amanda does exist but she just was not where she was suppose to be. Her grandmother had made other plans for evening and neither of us knew about that little fact. As a result I went home alone.
I was disappointed but I made the best of it. I immediately came home and sat on my booty. No actually I came home and immediately took the dog for a walk. It was a nice little walk around the poo poo spot. I used a bag like a good little renter should and all was well. Well there were a few isolated incidents of stranger danger but good ol' Emma scared them away.
Then I came home and did something I do not believe I have done in about 5 years or actually 5 months, I cooked dinner. It is shocking I know but it is also true. Of course I cleaned the kitchen first. I made ham, potatoes, and baked beans. I cleaned the kitchen up after my cooking adventure. I tried to talk to B on the phone but I ended up dumping all of the ham juices all over the counter and floor and had to go clean that up.
It is a rare thing to be home alone. It is a bit of a lost feeling at the beginning but I quickly found my groove cooking, cleaning and of course listening to the IPOD.
Did I mention the dog is pyscho?
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